What – not Why!

Why doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t fix it or change it or take away the pain.  Actually, it kinda makes it worse.  Worse because by the time you can ask yourself “why” you are already in the middle of it (whatever it is). Today I’m feeling melancholy for a friend from crossfit and I’m struggling not to get caught up in the “WHY is this happening to him?” state of mind.  Doctors should ask why, therapists can ask why – but I really believe friends and loved ones are better off asking “what”.  What can I do to help?  What am I learning from his amazing resilience?  What can be done to raise awareness?  What resources are available to make life less difficult for him?

Most importantly, don’t let the question ever be “WHY didn’t I offer my love and support sooner”!!