Chris, I started to head into Walgreens last night to buy a $5.00 greeting card that said a few of the things I would want to say to you. I realized that there isn’t a Hallmark card out there that can fully express just how happy I want this day to be for you, and just how much your birth means to my heart. Here is my own “card” in the form of a list of 45 reasons why I love you.

1. Your love for Jesus and the desire we share to live a life pleasing to him.

2. The fact that when you say “for you the world” you mean it!

3. Your strength of character.

4. Your ability to stay calm in stressful situations (especially since I clearly can’t – i.e. Cooper’s headplant at Home Depot last week!)

5. Your support of my hobbies and interests.

6. Your AMAZING skills in the kitchen!

7. Your sense of humor and the fact that you spend more energy laughing at yourself than others.

8. Your sweet heart for animals – seeing you with Monster melts my heart each and every day.

9. Your sense of adventure and the places it has taken me that I never would have gone without you.

10. Your desire to lend a helping hand, even if it means you will have virtually no sleep.

11. The fact that you are not too proud to admit when you need help.

12. The love you had for Ivan, our first Make-A-Wish child.

13. Your enthusiasm.

14. Your commitment.

15. Your passion.

16. Your sense of order and cleanliness (and the fact that keeping our home orderly and clean is something you have always helped with – with no complaints).

17. Our mutual love of art.

18. The tears that well up in your eyes at unexpected random moments.

19. Your COMPLETE devotion to our boys.

20. The example you have given them of what it looks like to be a caring, loving, and appropriately firm father.

21. The way you supported me when I was pregnant.

22. The ease with which you carry amazingly heavy loads – both physical loads and emotional ones.

23. The way you really listen to me.

24. The way you really spoil me.

25. Your fearlessness.

26. Your willingness to try new things.

27. Your sexy gray hairs.

28. Your history – it made you exactly who you were when I fell in love with you.

29. The fun we have when we travel and our dreams of seeing much more of the world together.

30. The loving way in which you challenge me to push myself.

31. The loving way you accept me if I don’t.

32. All the cliche ways that you are a man’s man: police officer, volunteer fire-fighter, pilot, Navy diver…

33. The fact that all of the above is true and yet you own more moisturizers and body soaps than me and you love to get manicures.

34. The fact that I don’t have to share you with football or hunting or fishing.

35. The balance you strike at work between good cop/bad cop.

36. The humble way you don’t seem to recognize how incredibly handsome you are.

37. The investment you are willing to make to our marriage day after day.

38. The fact that holding your hand still makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

39. For teaching me what it looks like to forgive.

40. For saying YES when I asked you to marry me.

41. The beautiful cakes you have created for friends and family.

42. The sparkle in your sweet blue eyes when you are excited about a new idea.

43. The way you hold me tight like you never want to let go.

44. The life we have built together so far.

45. All the years we have yet to share.

As the alarm clock went off this morning at 5:45 my first thought was, why does it have to be so dark out in the morning (which was quickly followed by that confusion I have each year about the time change and if we get more sunlight in the morning when we have to give it up in the evening). I like running to start the day, but I don’t like feeling swallowed up in the darkness. As I left the driveway and flipped on the flashlight I felt the familiar butterflies in my stomach of “what might be ahead, what I can’t see, what I can’t prepare for, what I might get hurt on” and it hit me that running in the dark is a lot like my fear of not knowing the future. I really pondered this comparison and all of a sudden the little bit of light right in front of me seemed like just the right amount of guidance. The more I ran along thinking that, the clearer the correlation became between that light and the way God wants us to live. God doesn’t want us to be consumed with a desire to figure out the future, he wants us to focus on what is happening now: the steps we are taking in our relationship with him and the priority we place on a life lived for the kingdom. When we spend much of our time thinking only of the future we compromise the beauty and joy of the present moment. What is up ahead are things that can’t be predicted, but the things that are happening to us now will give us the stamina and courage to face those things when they do come. I think the things that are behind us are best viewed as our lives prerequisite courses entitled “What to Do” and “What Not to Do”. I continued to consider the similarities of running in the dark with a flashlight and living in God’s present plan and it occurred to me that street lights are like the friends we have that add extra light of encouragement and support in difficult situations.

As I came to the end of my run this morning I was really excited about the message I felt I had received about having enough faith to put one foot in front of the other in the present light God will provide for me!

I came inside, did some stretching and then got out my daily devotion book entitled Jesus Calling. Check out the exclamation point God provided to his message from my run…

“You will not Find my Peace by engaging in excessive planning: attempting to control what will happen to you in the future. That is a commonly practiced form of unbelief. When your mind spins with multiple plans, Peace may sometimes seem to be within your grasp; yet it always eludes you. Just when you think you have prepared for all possibilities, something unexpected pops up and throws things into confusion.

I did not design the human mind to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring Me all your needs, your hopes and fears. Commit everything into My care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of Peace.”

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“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path – Psalm 119:105”